Saying “Yes” to Every Beat

The kids loves Lyrics Born.

Making Friends is Easy

The restrooms on my office floor are seldom peaceful. Owing to the fact that there is a construction site on one side and lifts on another, it is not exactly a hushed haven of solitude. For someone with possibly the most shy bladder in the known world, the situation is not ideal.

You know what makes it a little worse? When someone in the cubicle next to you starts asking you questions. Hearing builders faintly through the windows is one thing but, as I found out today, being cross-examined while you have your jeans around your ankles is not hot.

So, once my colleague broke the fourth wall, I was left sitting there wondering when a good time to leave was. Would we exit the cubicles and wash our hands together? There was really no need for me to be there anymore. Although still containing 2 cans of V and an Up & Go, my bladder had hung the “back in 20 minutes” sign on the door. Consequently, I was spending time looking around me, trying to guess who the hell had been clipping their toe nails in a work bathroom cubicle…

As it happened, I was beaten to the punch. I stepped out into the light and was alone. That’s right. My new friend is not a hand washer. Our bathroom cubicles are already adorned with notes on bathroom etiquette. Now I am wondering if perhaps the sink area requires similar attention.

This thing that I do…

You know, sometimes I blurt things out to people. Whether or not they are interested, I will tell them something I just saw, or did, or thought. Then, other times people are looking at me to speak and nothing comes out.

What’s is with that?

Ready for her close-up

George is no longer camera-shy. Observe!

The end is my favourite part. Did you hear the little “squeak”?

A Profound Whatever

Okay, I’ll admit it – I am the Grinch who stole Australia Day. I did not embrace the obligatory Celebration of the Nation. This long weekend was, however, Pants Down my favourite weekend in a long time.

Things I did:

• Jumping off a cliff into the ocean
• Using a hot glue gun
• Seeing ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ and crying almost the whole way through
• Taking part in a drunken & spectacularly unsuccessful attempt to wax a man’s chest
• Cooking a whole fish, Thai-style, on the BBQ
• Watching 3+ hours of TiVo suggestions

And, for those of you who were interested, below are the loo people. On the left, Jordan’s creation. On the right, My abomination. 

Douche de la Douche

There is hardly anything that I don’t love about rainy days. There’s wet socks and hair weirdness but, on balance, they make me very happy.

My bus ride was fairly entertaining this morning (this is a good thing, because I cleverly left my iPod in a friend’s car).

Firstly, everyone was really friendly at the bus stop… like “after you”, olden-times friendly. Then, a woman was running for the bus and the driver circled the block so she could get on. The smiles and noises of endorsement throughout the bus were almost smurf-like.  But, best of all was when a 4 foot wall of water cascaded out from my side of the bus and showered a complete douche with muddy water.

Except for the fact that I put too much pressure on my phone this morning and am now reduced to factory presets, all is right with the universe.

Bird is the Word

When you have anemia, it is probably best not to drink eShot, the delicious new energy drink from the good people at Nestlé. Well, it is delicious in the sense that they seem to have combined raspberry, cola and popcorn. I was pretty thirsty because the convenience store near to my work/heart had run out of my usual drink, and… look I just drank it, okay?

Anyway, I could feel my pulse in my extremities and wasn’t able to sleep. At all.  Lay there – did not sleep. Then, this happened:

Wake Up Call

George is an early bird. I really thought that the fact I watched 3 episodes of ‘Dirt’ at 3 o’clock in the morning might have given us both an excuse to sleep in, but it did not. We just have sore eyes now.

Today I wanted to buy TiVo and another cockatiel. Is my present state of bleary-eyed stupor trying to tell me that more TV and another bird is not what I need? Or should I just stop buying energy drinks because they have shiny labels?

I think the latter.